After a few minutes of talking to friends online, I feel a bit better. So what, I'm fidgety and still feel weird around Ben's friends. And, in genral, I feel claustrophobic and can't stay in the middle of a group of people when I don't know them very well for very long without getting extremely nervous. The only problem I have with these things is that I wanted to stay and talk, but couldn't. The urge to leave was just too strong, and even if I had over come that, I would've really had trouble sitting and visiting.
I hate knowing that even though I'm getting braver by the day, things like this still kick in and hold me back from talking to the people I long so much to talk to; My mind races, breathing slows, down, and the world starts spinning a little bit. But all in all, even if they did sit down at our table to visit with Kristin and I, they probably didn't notice I left, or if they did they didn't feel compelled enough to do anything about it. So life will go on.

Also, moments I spend at Coe make me think I want to be at Coe. But moments away from Coe make me think I shouldn't be at Coe. It's so confusing. Why can't Coe be in the middle of Seattle? And why am I still so confused about the right decision?

Breathing is nice. I'm going to go do that for a while. And study.