I'm still feeling very overwhelmed today. Kat and I were looking for apartments to live in this summer- and it occured to me that I'm scared of big citys, as much as I love the idea of them. There were so many people there. And, some of it was kind of slummy, and some of the people were a bit scary. It's going to take a lot of getting used to.

It never occured to me before the drive to Washington just how much I was really going to have to push myself this summer. My biggest fear is people- and living in a huge strange city with strange people who scare me, and getting a job and learning how to live without parents and friends scares the shit out of me. I'm really worried about this- and I'm not even sure exactly what I'm worried about.

I don't think I've been sleeping extremely well lately. I don't want to grow up, and I've been thinking so much about life and where I"m going next year and what I have to accomplish this summer that I'm driving myself to insanity. Insomnia sparked from myself. That's the worst kind- because I can't control it, and I havn't been able to destress myself, or get any calmer about this situation. I'm just so very very glad that my sister is here.

*blank look* I wish my thoughts connected more these days. And I wish that I could get whatever it is in my head out in the open. Because I feel so confused, and I'm not even sure what I'm confused about.

Blah.

I need to stop blogging now. It has ceased to be a helpful activity.