Just got back from a meeting I wasn't looking forward to (I don't know that I belong there), and I don't feel much better about it now. I feel like crying, and I'm pretty sure if I don't tonight it will come very soon. My body is aching, and I feel so stressed out. It's not going to get better over the next week.

Today I was a jerk to one of my very best friends, all day long. And I didn't want to feel bad about it, but I have. And everywhere I go, anything I do, I just- don't know how I'm supposed to feel anymore. What's supposed to happen?

Tonight, I almost started crying a few times- nothing really sparking it, but just feelings building up. I need summer to get here soon. I need to find a place where I truely belong. Most of all, I need to find a way to be happy again.

Also, thanks to Joy for being there for me today. I don't know if he knows how much just hanging out with me meant, but I really would've been on an alltime low if he wasn't there. Plus, I'm really enjoying getting to know him.