*sigh* I'm lonely.

I don't know why exactly, but it feels so much like I set myself up to be this way.

I have friends around. I havn't called them today though- I guess I've been hoping some of them would call me. That in itself sets me up for dissapointment... why should they call? When's the last time I called any of them?

Stupid internet lines aren't really up yet in dorms, so a lot of my friends aren't online. Well, actually Joy's not online. I havn't talked to him for so long- and I really miss him. But like everyone else, I could call him- and I chose not to. I guess maybe that's because my friends that are online are either having their normal half distracted "I'm at school, I have time to talk, but not really talk" type conversations, or they aren't talking to me at all.

Erg.

And Kat and Alex aren't online.

I tried to find something productive to do today, so I wouldn't be so bored. I looked all over the house for my box of string so I could make some friendship bracelets, but couldn't find it. So instead, I gave up. I sat around all morning watching a movie.

The movie I watched was all about this girl trying to find a perfect relationship, and it really got me thinking. :( Movies like that on days like this are bad.

I miss Jeremy a lot. I've been pushing him from my mind a lot these days, against the advice of some of my better friends.

*sigh*

I feel crazy right now. I wish I had my best friend here. Whoever that is, though, doesn't seem to be living up to my wishes.

I'd ask for a hug from Susie when she gets home... all I want is to be held. But I don't think I will.

Sooner or later I'm going to have to get this thinking out of the way.