Ugh. Over the past few weeks, I've managed to gain about 7 pounds. It's weight I worked hard to lose last summer, and I'm not excited to have it back. Plus, my acne is in full swing again- worse than I ever remember it being before. After talking do the dermatalogist, it sounds like I've got some scarring. Yeah me, and way to bring up the confidence level. Pssht. I'm feeling very thankful for my friendship with Kevin right now- if he hadn't taught me how to have a center and appear confident, I wouldn't be as happy with myself as I am right now. And sadly, even that is dwindling.

I keep thinking of that e-mail Jeremy sent me about a year and 1/2 ago. That's what really inspired me to start losing weight, and taking better care of myself to start with. And, I've delt with any pain invovled there. But if there's anything I've learned this summer, and over the past year- its that even though not everyone is concerned with appearence... a lot of people are.

In spite, I want to not care. I want to become fat, and gross looking so that only people who really really care will ever want to love me. But, as much as my spite works in my favor, I'm sick of playing that game.

I know I'm complaining about almost nothing. There are a lot of people far worse off than I am. So, I'm going to go sulk silently.