Erg. I'm feeling more than a bit bummed right now. My friends from home.... they don't seem to be going out of thier ways to spend time with me. And why should they? They have lives of their own right here- they don't have all the empty time on thier hands that I feel like I've had. They aren't lonely like I am, and they have real friends that they see on a daily basis that they want to keep up with.

I suppose it's somewhat selfish of me to expect that they'd want to spend their free time hanging out with me.

So, here I sit. Wondering why they aren't calling, and why they do other things on days I want to hang out with them. I feel like crying, because they talk about hanging out with me, and then the hours tick by and they get distracted by other things.

I'm a jerk. I should call them, and talk to them, and convince them that they love me enough to want me to hang out with them.

But that would be like admitting that it's okay that they don't make time for me, or that the time they do make never feels like enough. And right now, I want to be dissapointed, because I'm hurt.

Nothings going to get fixed. If anything, I have just hurt multiple people's feelings by writing this entry. If that's the case, then they're hurt too and then we're all hurting. But I feel better already because I've vented, and I think I got out in the open the thing that has been depressing me a lot this week.

*sigh*