Sometimes I am just a stupid, silly little girl.

I made a promise, I intend to keep it. But driving home with a car full of my sister's friends does not sound like a great time to me, because I know I will feel left out, like I always do.

Tonight I do especially. My family is at Grandma's house, playing games, having a jolly old time, and I am at my parents house, alone. With a sleeping baby. And a dog that wants to go on a walk, and cats who want nothing to do with me.

If I could do anything I wanted right now, I would cry. But it is not an option. The tears wouldn't come, and besides. I am stronger than this. After one year of lonely apartment and drifting friends and missing out on everything important, I know that one night by myself is not going to be the end of me.

But I wish- oh I do wish- I had someone, anyone, to be with right now. Someone who would give me a hug, and just be with me. Because they understand that I need company, but company that needs no words.

It is too late to call my friends though. And my family will be playing their games late into the night.