All week I've been very stressed out. Wait, nix the week, change it to month.

All month, I've been very stressed out. Pressures of living far away from friends and family, having to search for a job, changing my living space & packing up my belongings, dealing with a stressed out family, and moving into a new city among... all these things along with others have been weighing on my mind.

Last night I couldn't handle it anymore. There was a misunderstanding between my husband and I, and before we knew what happened we were squabbling about nothing. Next thing I know I found myself getting very upset, and I couldn't breathe.

It is not the first time I've found myself so upset over confused emotions, but it is the first time in memory that I have hyperventilated. Alex helped me calm down again, and we went to sleep.. this morning I was still feeling the effects.

Part of me hates this- the new city, the lack of friends and family, the new job prospects... the adjusting to all the change involved. But I know deep down this is a good thing. Already our new "home" is better suited for our needs- Braiden gets his own bedroom, we love the restaurants, parks, and general neighborhood atmosphere. We just haven't met anyone yet who I could imagine as potential friends.

When I said goodbye to my daddy on Monday, it broke my heart. It finally sunk in that this change is real, and happening.


It is just all so scary. Why does change have to be that way? Why is it something that is so hard?