In the last few years, I have felt at times more at home than since I was a child. My family I have created settles something in me deeper than I knew existed.

Yet, not for the first time, I find myself feeling slightly depressed. Finally I have realized, a big part of the down is homesickness. Within this home I have made, I still miss what I have left behind. I miss my friends, my family, and a certain safety net that over the years has not caught me as often as it used to.

I want to live in a place where I have friends I can talk to and do things with outside the boundaries of my computer screen. Part of me wishes I could find that piece of me that was able to call and talk to my friends, to have the solace that goes with the voices of people who love and care about me.


Where can I find that here? In this city where the closest thing to friends I have found are people I still haven't quite found solid connections with? How long does it really take to build friendships, and will it ever get easier again?

The optimist in me says that it will only get easier if I work at it. The fear in me takes over though.


Why do I get stuck in the past so often? I realize what is left behind is gone. But still, I find myself missing it more than I should.