Well, I had a temp job. And then it was gone before it was even started. A bit of a wake up shocker for me- I was so excited to finally have *something*. Real experience was right beyond my fingertips, an opportunity for an "in" to an industry that doesn't seem to think I belong, and a way to delve back into the world of the working.

I'm not going to pretend I didn't cry when I found out it was lost.. but at the same time, I don't know what to feel anymore. I'm not sure where to put my priorities while I'm home, and even the menial every day stuff that I was getting so used to finishing is feeling daunting to me now.

Why is it, when I know I want this change and I invest myself into it, it still doesn't pan out? And then, when I know I should dust myself off, get up and try again, that all I can seem to muster up is fear that it will just keep happening?

I was working on turning my fears into hopes. And it had been helping. I think I just need to figure out how to do that again, now that I've backtracked a bit.

Somewhere out there, there is a job for me. And I will find it. And things will be good.