Damn it. At least two of my very good friends are also having issues with what they're doing next year... and it seems to me that it shouldn't be like this. Why can't we just know where we're going, or what we're doing? Why can't we accept that we're not going to have everything handed to us easily, and take whatever we can grasp? Why can't we just be happy? And what was happiness anyway?

I hate how we all have to fit into lines. You're expected to go to college, and do well. Get good grades, graduate, and find a job. It's not even necessarily friends or family that put these pressures on us... it's our peers, it's society, and it's the rules we've grown up with. We came from decent middle class homes, and schools that were big enough to get us where we needed to go. We saw our friends develop drug problems, get pregnant, or just loose track of life, yet we were the ones who held on and pulled through.

Well, to hell with the lines. I'm stepping out. Little steps- this summer I'm not going home, I'm going to Seattle to find out who I am. My friends are both really thinking through what they're doing, and they're considering things they know their parents would dissaprove of. Maybe we'll find the happiness we seek... maybe we'll be lucky. Or maybe we'll just turn into a few more fallen dreams.