On a now very past note, I went home this weekend. I think it's one of the best things I've done for myself in a very long time. I love my family soo much, and I really have missed them. I know that no matter how far I go, we'll still love and care for eachother- but I don't want to forget that. And I don't want them too. And no matter where I end up- I want all the time in the world to hug and love and spend time with them. And no matter how much time I have with them, it will never again be enough.

Tonight was going to be the last night of gaming with my guys. I'm not sure if they're gaming Sunday or not- but I feel really overhwelhmed right now.. we ended up deciding not to game.

Time is going by so quickly. And as these two weeks draw to a close, I'm going to be considerably stressed out. Already, the weight of the decisions I have ahead of me is weighing me down.

I don't know that I'm at the right place here- and even though I've been watching, hoping for some sign that I should be here, I havn't gotten any. Maybe I havn't been looking in the right places. Maybe I want so badly for there to be something that I'm looking right past the signs I want to see. Yet, the more obvious thought is that I really need to be somewhere else.

Closer to home, or farther away- I need some direction tonight.
No matter where I go, and reguardless of what you say, the answers are not right.
I pray and hope and wish and dream for someone to hold me down.
The world keeps on spinning by, everyone's watching me drown.

Yipes.

I'm okay. I really am. I'm scared though. Scared of leaving this all behind, and entering the world again. Somewhere out there is a place where I belong. I just need to find it, and accept it.