Winter howling at my face
And everything I held so dear
Disappeared without a trace
Oh all the times I've tasted love
Never knew quite what I had
Little Darling if you hear me now
Never needed you so bad
Spinning round inside my head" -David Gray
Today isn't bad. It's just another ordinary day. I mean, not ordinary for most people- I don't yet have a job and have been spending my warm summer days lazing about and relaxing. But it's lonely. And sometimes that loneliness leads me to thinking a little more about reality than one should. Today, for example, I was thinking of Jeremy, and wondering how he is these days, and wondering if he ever thinks of me.
Someday I might or might not find love again. Always I will be thinking of someone, wondering if the cute guy I just saw was looking at me or past me, and dreaming of growing old with the one person who I would give my heart to if ever they graced my life. That's why loneliness is tolerable- because I hope for it to vanish, but I'm okay with it. It's a comfort in ways I can't really explain.
Also, I've always got friends and family somewhere near by. And although it might not be the kind of love I crave, they make up for whatever love I don't receieve. I'm so glad I've got my sister here. She's been busy a lot of the time, and I feel almost as though I impose on a lot of her free time... but I love spending time with her. Hanging out has been so great.
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