I'm standing on a bridge, I'm waiting in the dark, I thought that you'd be here by now. There's nothing but the rain, no footsteps on the ground, I'm listening but there's no sound. Isn't anyone trying to find me? Won't somebody come take me home? It's a damn cold night. Trying to figure out this life, won't you take me by the hand, take me somewhere new? I don't know who you are, but I, I'm with you." -Avril Lavigne

I have other blogs to post, but they're on my other computer- which doesn't yet have internet access. Anyway, as relevent as they might be right now, they can come later.

I am so confused right now. I feel like everything I've been standing on, as far as morals and beliefs go, has just been pulled out from underneath me. I'm suddenly in a world where my older sister is my only safety, because this world is filled with sex, dancing, and a whole lot of guys.

Right now, if you were to ask me if I was okay, I would lie and say, "Sure. I'm alright I guess." But deep down, I'm hurting. I never imagined that the world could be like this, and seeing it through a new perspective scares me more than a little.

Is there a point in holding out anymore? If that guy who steals my dreams really exists, will he really stop loving me because I am or am not a virgin? And, if he ever does show up (which I'm starting to believe is very doubtful), will the world start spinning in another new direction?

I have a lot of growing up to do in the next few months. *sigh* And it's not going to be easy- especially if I feel as lonely as I feel now through most of it.

I wish I knew how to get rid of the loneliness. And I wish I knew the questions I need answers to.

Mostly, I wish I didn't feel so confused.