I'm amazed at how great this past week has been. I finally feel like I'm beginning to have my own set of friend, who just happen to also be Kat's friends, Laur's out here introducing me to more really awesome people, and I'm getting things together. Although, I still havn't heard from UW (so I'm at a loss of what to decide about next fall), and yesterday I did end up in tears- again.

I think Kat and I are really learning a lot about eachother this summer. I love her so much, and I know I'm blessed by her presence in my life... but I forget to let her know that, and inturn, she is hurt by my lack of appreciation. I don't know exactly how to thank her for everything she's doing for me... I don't know if there's anything I'll ever be able to do to repay her for her love and kindness- and I'm not very good at expressing gratitude (a trait I picked up from my family which I wish I didn't have).
Anyhow, yesterday before Kat and I started talking, and before I started crying, I was thinking really hard about why exactly I'm out here. I really don't have a way to get home, and sometimes it feels like I would've been better off just staying in the safe zone. If I hadn't come out here, I wouldn't know Kat, but we also wouldn't hurt eachohter like we have. For a moment earlier, I almost regretted coming out here.
I realized though, that there is nothing that could've made me happier than being here. I wanted to get to know Kat better- I want to know her as a person and respect her for more traits than just being my older sister. And now I do... not for one moment will I ever regret coming out here. I love her, and am so thankful that she has been in my life. There aren't many big sisters who would put up with everything she's been dealing with from me latey.... and I am really lucky to have her in my life.

That aside, I had a really odd dream last night. Two of the guys in my life (one who was the first, and one who is the most current) took over my dreams. They were both shipping off, and the least expected of the two stayed becuase he found he loved me, and could not bear to part... while the other found another girl, and left.

I don't know what to do about the guys in my life. I'm greatful I have so many to become friends with. Learning how to be friends with guys- while not being in a relationship with them- is turning out to be an experience also, that I'm glad I've been going through. Although, I still am hoping to fall in love with the right guy someday in the not so distant future.

Anyhow, peace out all. If you read my blog today, and you pray- do me this favor. Pray for my sister and I to be able to express ourselves around eachother without trampling on feelings and emotions, and pray for me to find a way to really show her how greatful I am.
If you don't pray, well then- cross your fingers and wish me luck. :)

Love you all.
(yeah, that's right.)
-Mary