I'm looking through a sign, searching through my heart, trying to hear a voice of which I'm beginning to question it's existance.

It's Monday morning, and today I have to really decide where I'm going.

This is, by all means, not a decision I want to make alone. I have pleas from both ends, but those don't really matter. What matters is, next year, will I be happy with the decision I've made?

There's a lot of new scary ground to cover if I stay in Seattle... and the part that scares me most about that is my best friends will all be back in the midwest. They won't be able to come to my rescue when I fall, and they won't want to spend the long nights talking me out of insanity.

Sure, there will be new friends... but friends don't come easily to me like they do to some of the people I'm living with. It will take time.

This morning, I decided the best way to settle this is to open my bible to a random verse, read it, close my eyes, open my heart, and see if God is pulling me one way or another.
Sadly, there were no direct answers.