This morning I went to breakfast with my dad because his bible study group meets on Tuesdays and they don't mind having extra people along to eat with them after. After we were done eating, I said goodbye to my grandparents and gave them both each a huge hug- and almost broke down in tears.

The good part of this is that I was almost crying, which means maybe I'm getting some of my emotion back again.

The bad part is I'm going to see them agian until Christmas, and I really hate goodbyes. It's just now starting to sink in that I only have one day left at home, and then I'll be 1500 miles away from the majority of everyone I love and care about.

I'm scared.

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Yesterday I talked to my roommate for the first time... she seems like a really sweet girl, although we only chatted for about 10 minutes or so. She's also from Minnesota, which really suprised me. I guess it didn't occur to me that there would be any other midwesterners going out that way.

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Early this morning my brother called... I woke up because my parents were talking to him in the next room. When my dad came in to wake me up to go talk to him, I was amazed. We were talking on speaker phone, but he still sounded like an entirely different person. I didn't recognize his voice at all- it sounded so much older, and far more serious than the brother that left so long ago.

Although he talked to my parents for a while, I didn't say much of anything- because I wasn't really loud enough for him to hear me... plus, I think I was a little scared.

He said he hadn't written back more, because usually when he writes he writes to Amber- and then doesn't have time to write to anyone else.

I miss him.

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Right now, I'm sitting in front of the computer when I know I should be backing. But I don't really care. I feel as though I'm on the verdge of tears again. I'm so scared about what will happen over the next few weeks- what have I gotten myself into?

Sure, I'll be okay. I'll make it through and in no time I'll look back and wonder what I was so scared of. But will I ever be the same girl again?