As for last night, I'm really starting to like a certain boy. Enough to the point where it confuses me and leaves me a bit scared-

On the one side, I really don't want to be commited to anyone right now. I like the freedom of flinging my emotions towards anyone at anytime without second thoughts as to who I'm really supposed to be directing that kind of attention towards. I enjoy having the option of flirting with everyone- even if I rarely do it.

On the other.... last night, some of the little things he did made me so happy. I still can't stop smiling today. I long for the company of a mysterious person who I'm going to really give my heart to... and although I'm not yet ready to fully admit that this person is in my life.... man, he's getting to me. I got home last night with the hugest sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. But after I was lying down trying to fall asleep, I noticed the braclets glowing on my wrist- and it was so comforting.

In short, I don't know what's going on. I was holding his hand at the dance last night- which shouts out in it's own silent way "I like this guy, and I want the world to know it". That was hard for me- it feels like a lifetime has passed since I've met anyone I wanted to do that with. But I overcame it for him.

I wish I wasn't contradicting myself so much in all of my thoughts. All I know is whatever happened last night was good. And maybe I'm moving in another direction again.