Tonight, for the first time in a long time, I find myself angry again at Jeremy's death. Furious with God, and myself.

I love my family. To death. Would not trade them for the world.

But then, something reminds me what I've lost, and here I am grieving again like I don't have someone I belong to.

How is this right? How is this even fair? Why do I spend this energy battling within myself when I have so much right here?

Sometimes I still wish I had someone else to talk to who missed him as much as I do; but as always, no one does. And since I don't know where to reach out, the battle stays within.