Sometimes, when you feel really down, and you try to pick yourself up, you find you've fallen too far.. and it's so hard. The world throws everything it can at you, and you try to smile, but it's too much. You can't take it all on, and you shouldn't have to pretend to.

As of late, I'm learning the hard way that I can't be everywhere and everything, and very soon I'm going to have to pick one path to follow. Even if I can be anything, I can not be everything.
I've been super homesick, and have been having a rather hard time figuring out where I should be this fall- anywhere I end up it's going to be hard on me. I don't think I can give up the people in my life right now... twice in the past year I gave up the people I had, and I'm not strong enough to do it again.
Plus, little things adding up have been getting to me. And, I havn't been feeling especially well. It's been a down week.

But, after all that, I look at what I have, and I see it's not so bad. I'm going to smile today because whatever is on my mind may be troubling- but it's not worth it to let the sadness think in. I want to live, and be happy, and learn how to smile again.

Seattle this summer has been probably one of the best parts of my life. I've gotten to know my older sister much better than I ever could've hoped to- and for that alone I am so thankful.

Now though, I'm stuck again. I don't know how to be a friend, and I don't know how to break through. Maybe she really doesn't need me right now- infact, I know she doesn't need me. But, that's not the point. I just want her to know I'm here for her, and her burdens are not burdens to me. Because I'm here out of love, and I would give anything to see her happy tomorrow. Today though, I would cry with her if she wanted me to.

Anyway, I worry too much, I bet. She knows I love her, and she knows that I'm here.

So, I'm going to go live out my day. Today, I'm going to live. :)