I know I shouldn't get frustrated. And I know that looking at failed job opportunities as a failure to myself is Not a good way to go about this search. But the discouragement is there anyway, and I don't know how to get past it.

Today I find myself wanting to go seek out a corner and cry after filling out two job applications. Just filling them out is enough to make my emotions go crazy.

This is not right. And I know it. And I'm trying to get this under control and face down these things that are scaring me- and maybe I can do it. But I wish it didn't feel so hopeless.

See, the problem with job searching, is that all the Nos start to get discouraging. And that leads to a lack of self confidence, overwhelmingly down emotions, hopelessness, and general avoidance of all things job related. And all these things are not conducive to job searching, which makes it even harder to find said evasive job.

And while I can think about this rationally, it doesn't change the fact that all these negative influences are pushing down on my soul.

So, today I'm not going to cry. I'm going to sit here and reason with myself and breathe until I get past this... because it doesn't get easier- it gets Harder-, and obviously going to cry in a corner isn't going to find me a job.

But at least this reasoning is leaving me feeling slightly better about the situation.

I can get through this.

But can I find a job?